Just the other day, I bumped into another 'anorexic' client, a lovely girl in her 20's who hasn't been to see me for a while. She explained why she hadn't been in touch for so long. She had returned to riding horses, a love of her teens which she gave up around the time of the onset of her illness. She couldn't achieve the perfection in it she thought was so vital - another anorexia trait - and so she just stopped doing it - even though it was the thing she loved most in the world. We had talked about it in therapy and I had encouraged her to consider going back to it , even tho' the exercise element might have dissuaded other practitioners to suggest it. She was at home, maintaining weight and showing signs of growing confidence and self belief.
As she told the story of how much she was enjoying her riding, she remarked on how 'it was strange' that, even though she was maintaining her 'rituals' of eating at home (with her parents); which involve a high degree of fastidiousness (links with OCD), when she is at the stables, she takes - and eats - food from a fridge and in an environment which she knows she would find 'gross' and NEVER do anywhere else. Yet, here she is happy - and the happiness brings her contenment and calm; she is making her own choices here; and, in this environment, she has removed the pressure of 'doing the right thing,' of performing to perfection. She is just having fun - and, surprise, surprise, the eating and fastidiousness stop being an issue while she is there.
She is beginning to have moments when the anorexic symptoms are either non-existent or fleeting. This, in my view, will expand her confidence and belief and she will continue to make progress. She says she is wondering when the 'bubble will burst' but she laughs when she says it.
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