client progress

Met with mature client yesterday and she is really beginning to recognise her power and the choices she a)has made and b) is making.  Her hesitation now is about the choices she will make now.  My job, as I see it, is merely to help her see things clearly and calmly enough that she can exercise the choice she wants.  Her fear of change is decreasing. 

When I first worked with her - for many weeks, the fear was of losing the anorexia.  Now, she has glimmers of what life without it is like - much of which she really likes.  She is experiencing times when she notices herself feeling calm and relaxed around food - and she recognises some of the reasons why this change occurs.  And even though she can see how much better life can be, how much better life is beginning to become, as with many of the clients I deal with, she sees the choices opening up before her as Hobson's Choices.  In other words, the choices all seem to involve a downside.  To move forward, they need to reach a point where they realise life is not a case of two opposing choices, each with a (perceived) sting in the tail; but a life of many choices - some more challenging then others, but they don't have to pick one and stick with it.  They can recognise that they could pick one of many, they are in control of whichever they do pick AND they can change their mind and follow a different path at any time they decide.

Since anorexia is, in my opinion, closely linked with a belief that decisions about all aspects of life are taken by other people; that sufferers have no say or control, then this single acceptance that they are entitled to make the choices they want,  that those choices can be positive choices - and that what others think of those choices is not important, then maybe they really can make those choices.  This is a monumental shift and I have seen it with anorexia, binge eating and body dysmorphia.  Metaphorically, I see this client as in the aircraft with her parachute strapped on, but not yet ready to go to the door of the plane and look out, not yet ready to jump - but thinking about it. 


(I feel the need to point out that any client stories I tell are with the full permission of the person concerned. Anonymity is assured in terms of names, but I don't want to use anything that any client would be uncomfortable with - so that's me and them reassured!)