Shirley Billson Hypnotherapy

technology fun - why oh why!

2010-11-12T03:23:00.001-08:00

Technology continues to delight! Creating excel files yesterday, lovely worksheets - saving not as straightforward as it once was, gave me loads of options for what I would prefer to save as, did what I always do, went for any old one, opened it today and discovered only one of worksheets remains. Currently re-doing yesterdays work. Good job I went for a run this morning and feel energised. I wonder if I can catch up with myself before seeing lovely clients this arvo?

binge eating, vaginismus, anorexia

2010-09-07T10:35:00.000-07:00

Lovely couple of days with fab clients making good progress on various fronts. My work is a privilege, especially when I get to work with such amazing people and we laugh, as well as get some serious progress on things such as binge eating, anorexia and vaginismus. One client was kind enough to sing my praises to her GP and was astounded when the GP told her that she knew of me because she had sent her partner to see me. There are occasional glimmers of enlightenment and progress in the NHS.

stress contributing to food intolerance

2010-08-26T10:01:00.000-07:00

The client I saw today was recommended by a highly reputable nutritionist who has been seeing this lady for some time. Her physical symptoms of intolerance seem to come and go and the therapist concerned wondered if stress had something to do with this, so referred her to me.

I am used to successfully dealing with anxiety of all types and manifestations; but, the journey from the client perspective is a fascinating one. You might imagine that what I achieve could be done by any good therapist without the hypnosis - and I wouldn't disagree with that in principle. But when hypnosis is effective, it can really speed positive change - and it is delightful for clients to start quickly experiencing benefits.

After just one session, this lady realised that, whilst she has 'lots in her life to be thankful for' she had been putting her life on hold and spending all her time doing things she didn't really enjoy. She is a creative person, but realised that she was spending most of her time on chores at home, caring for her elderly father and doing business accounts for her husband. She had a long discussion with her husband after the session and they have already resolved to get involved in some joint activities (like dance) and she will also take up some other individual pursuits.

In the second session, she talked of her perfectionist nature and her growing anxiety around travel, which she used to love. She worries about whether she will be able to find foods on the menu she can comfortably eat (given her food intolerances). Then she listed all the other things she finds to worry about - all of them ordinary, but she has accumulated them and turned a lot of small concerns into a large worry. Things like making sure the cats are cared for, deciding what clothes to take, making sure she remembers to take all the tablets and 'special foods' she requires...and so on. As we talk, she begins to come up with her own solutions. "I focus too much on the problems and make them look bigger". We construct a session around the planned holiday and using the power of her mind to strengthen her immune system.

I suggest, during hypnosis, that she discovers a fresh perspective and remembers the most important aspect of today's session - the one thing that will make a real difference now. As she opens her eyes and gets up from the couch, she tells me that she realised something really important and that she has realised this for the first time. She tells me that she realises that she is someone of value. Brilliant.

It's far too early to see any changes in her physical symptoms, but if this were the only thing she took from our work together, I, for one, would be delighted!

Gaining control of 'out of control' eating

2010-08-26T02:42:00.000-07:00

People who come to seem me with eating issues may not be obese, have bulimia or any other diagnosed eating disorder; but there are occasions when they struggle with control over eating in a way that is out of kilter with the rest of their lives. No amount of rational thinking seems to help.
Here's an example - one of my clients is an attractive and bright professional woman. She is not overweight in the BMI (body mass index) sense, she knows what to eat nutritionally and knows how to exercise. In fact, she is happy in every aspect of her life - and yet, on occasion, 'loses control' and binges on carefully hidden stashes of chocolate. She has done it for as long as she can remember and it never bothered her before. In fact, she used to regard it as an acceptable form of weight management - very healthy eating and regular exercise, with occasional bouts of bingeing. Now, she feels differently. It bothers her that she can't control it, she doesn't regard it as acceptable, can't see a pattern or a rationale, wants to change - and has come to me for help.
We've done three sessions so far and she has been delighted with early progress, noticing positive changes in her behaviour and thinking (e.g. a change from daily shopping for chocolate to occasional shopping for it, comfortably eating - and enjoying - half a slice of cake with friends instead of going on to eat three or more slices). However, she had a 'blip' this week where she 'went berserk' and ate so much chocolate she was sick. This panicked her and she now worries she is straight back into the old pattern. She didn't understand why, so I asked her to talk me through the day until the point she felt out of control.

She began to describe how many things had happened that day which demanded her attention - a real overload of work and worry from all directions. As she described it, you could see the penny beginning to drop. I reassured her that this was progress as, at least, she was beginning to see that, perhaps there was a pattern to this, after all. Then I asked her to tell me what kind of things she did to relax. At this point, she struggled to come up with anything.

So, after asking what she most wanted from the session, we then agreed we would use the hypnosis to establish what the unconscious intention was behind the bouts of over-eating. I suggested we could get beneath the apparent self sabotage to understand what positive intention her subconscious mind considered it was fulfilling.

I use the analogy of a young child being well meaning in cleaning Mummy's favourite Manolo Blahnik shoes with a brillo pad, having heard her say they were dirty and having seen her clean dishes with the brillo pad before. I explain that the subconscious mind can behave in the same way - believing that it is responding appropriately to fulfil a need, but having it's wires crossed by misunderstanding early patterns of behaviour, by making links where none logically exist.

This is such a simple session and I must give credit to Dr Judith Pearson ('Weight, Hypnotherapy and You', Amazon) for describing the technique in such crystal clear terms. When you get the results, clients are invariably surprised by both the simplicity of the underlying motivation (which you might have logically expected to be able to come up with) and the simplicity of the solutions (which you might also have logically expected to be able to come up with).

Today's session is no exception and my client is amazed at how easily she could answer a question in hypnosis that she struggled to answer beforehand. She leaves feeling in control and confident again. Gradually she will gain confidence that she can sustain this easily.

Food addiction

2010-08-26T01:56:00.000-07:00

I've heard people talk about food addiction or chocolate addiction and I can go along with that - but I'm not sure that such labels are helpful. In my clinics, though, I do re-assure clients that what they describe is not uncommon, that they are 'normal' and they can overcome this. Adopting the 'addict' status, for me, has too much of the status of victim and helplessness and that doesn't seem like a helpful place to start if you want to make a change. And you can make a change - often very simply and surprisingly quickly.

Binge eating - what's that then?

2010-08-26T01:54:00.000-07:00

Many people think that there are only two real issues around weight and body image - - three at a push - the first being obesity and the second anorexia. If they think of a third, it will probably be bulimia. However, in my clinic, I meet all kinds of people who do not fit neatly into those categories. Yes, some are diagnosed anorexics and some are just overweight; but many come to me because they are ashamed of their relationhip with food.

They often have what they regard as dirty secrets about food - which includes things like keeping secret stashes of chocolate or other 'forbidden' foods that they will devour in one sitting when left alone. They may contrive to seek out time alone to do it - or, occasionally, may have a partner in crime, like a sister or best friend - who shares in the behaviour. They can become guilty or angry or both about the time they take to do this, what peope will think of them if they know and how it can affect their relationship with others. They may swing between deprivation, when they are 'in control' or 'being good', and guilt, when they are 'out of control' or 'being bad.'

The distress associated with the 'out of control' or 'bad behaviour' contributes to a gradual erosion of self esteem - and the more they fear the circumstances recurring, the worse they feel and the more likely it is for the behaviour to re-occur. In common with anorexia - thought not necessarily as acutely - they become aware almost of two selves - one is unwelcome but, when it takes control, no amount of rational talk from their other self will prevent them repeating the behaviour. In fact, the day to day self may disappear completely in the moment. It is like two people reside in the same body - but the two are never present at the same time.

client progress

2010-08-25T01:58:00.000-07:00

Met with mature client yesterday and she is really beginning to recognise her power and the choices she a)has made and b) is making. Her hesitation now is about the choices she will make now. My job, as I see it, is merely to help her see things clearly and calmly enough that she can exercise the choice she wants. Her fear of change is decreasing.

When I first worked with her - for many weeks, the fear was of losing the anorexia. Now, she has glimmers of what life without it is like - much of which she really likes. She is experiencing times when she notices herself feeling calm and relaxed around food - and she recognises some of the reasons why this change occurs. And even though she can see how much better life can be, how much better life is beginning to become, as with many of the clients I deal with, she sees the choices opening up before her as Hobson's Choices. In other words, the choices all seem to involve a downside. To move forward, they need to reach a point where they realise life is not a case of two opposing choices, each with a (perceived) sting in the tail; but a life of many choices - some more challenging then others, but they don't have to pick one and stick with it. They can recognise that they could pick one of many, they are in control of whichever they do pick AND they can change their mind and follow a different path at any time they decide.

Since anorexia is, in my opinion, closely linked with a belief that decisions about all aspects of life are taken by other people; that sufferers have no say or control, then this single acceptance that they are entitled to make the choices they want, that those choices can be positive choices - and that what others think of those choices is not important, then maybe they really can make those choices. This is a monumental shift and I have seen it with anorexia, binge eating and body dysmorphia. Metaphorically, I see this client as in the aircraft with her parachute strapped on, but not yet ready to go to the door of the plane and look out, not yet ready to jump - but thinking about it.

(I feel the need to point out that any client stories I tell are with the full permission of the person concerned. Anonymity is assured in terms of names, but I don't want to use anything that any client would be uncomfortable with - so that's me and them reassured!)

Beginning to overcome eating issues

2010-08-24T04:34:00.000-07:00

Since so many felllow practitioners ask for my advice, I thought it migh be interesting - and, ideally, helpful - to share some of the ways I work with people who have eating and body issues.

I've been working with a client recently, suffering with long term anorexia, who has 'overcome it' in that she does eat enough to maintain her weight, but she recognises, despite going through CBT, that her thinking around food is still not 'normal' and that her anxiety also spills into other areas - hypochondria for one. My strategy is to get her to do the opposite of what she has done to date. In other words, forget about the food. We have agreed, since she is safely maintaining weight and has the 'all clear' from her GP and the eating disorder team, our task is to get her to focus her mind on other aspects of life.

This is the way I work with any eating or body related issue - and some clients are surprised and think it won't be possible at first (but soon discover it is not only possible but liberating). I rationalise that it is not normal to think about food all the time, that food is and should be a side issue - enjoyable, ideally, but NOT the main event in life. In my view, repeated discussion of what is being eaten/ how/when/what feelings occur before/during/after, only serves to (pardon the pun) feed the problem (whateve the eating issue is - and it could as easily be binge-eating) by encouraging a continued focus on the very thing which preoccoupies a huge amount of 'headspace'.

Our job - as client and therapist - is to expand the opportunity to a)think about, b) talk about, c)do things unrelated to food, which are enjoyable in some way. In short, to encourage positive thinking - but providing tools and strategies to make that a more common feature of daily life. The purpose is to encourage a trickle of positive feeling and, encourage it, in time, to develop - call it ripple effect, butterfly effect or just momentum. The more we can expand this good feeling, the more we are shifting focus towards what works and away from what doesn't work; and the surprising changes begin to happen in relation to eating and body awareness.

And, as evidence of this, the lady in question made a major breakthrough just last week - after three sessions of focussing attention on other aspects of life plus her personal efforts to continue that work away from the consulting room, she described how she had decided to stand naked in front of a full length mirror (the first time in a long time) and had been HAPPY with what she saw.